07 August 2014

Work, am-I-right?!

I started work yesterday. Lots of feelings.

The coworkers are pretty much all young, in their twenties, a couple 30s/40s. Which means that there is friend potential! Which means that alongside the stress of starting a new job and trying to actually do a good job, there is the stress of fitting in and trying to make friends. I'm not sure if this is something that everyone feels, but I sure do. I'm feeling pretty nostalgic for 2011/12 when I had two part-time jobs that I truly enjoyed (Carlos and Butler kids.)

I am a little bit frightened of this job. Behaviours are not really my thing. Every holler makes me jump. I do not want to be yelled at, and I do not want to have a job with physical risk. I will clean up pee and drool and poop and listen to loud autistic sounds, happily. But I do not want to be scared at work. Four years ago, I started at CLC and I was seriously intimidated by a sexist 67 year old man, who was also a bit of an asshole. So much so that I only lasted 4 months. I feel like I have grown now, since then... but I'm still very scared that I won't be able to handle these situations. I know that confidence is key. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, right?

Today was day two of my training, first day on the floor. The police and apparently a SWAT team showed up. IDK but I am not prepared for that bs! Thankfully, I had no real role, since it was only my second day of work and I know NOTHING of this guy. But I will need to deal with this at some point, and I hope that I can. Thinking of applying with CLL again in hopes that they have a mellow home that is significantly closer to my house. I missed the bus on the way home, and ended up paying $34 for a taxi because I had to pick up Lena. Add that to childcare, and I paid $54 to go to work today. Which means my take home was probably only about $50-60. And I missed Lena so much. What did I miss of her today? Her sweet face, her laugh, her cuddles. Oh, my sweet girl. I really don't think I can go back to work full time while my kiddos are small. I am so thankful to Wade that he does. On that note though, I am also nervous about the safety of working at that house while pregnant. (Because I do expect to become pregnant with no. 2 within the next year or so.) Another reason to inquire with CLL, but GEEZ I do not want to work a ton! It is already complicated enough trying to work within Wade's schedule and Tessa's availability to babysit.... and bus schedules, etc etc etc.

I really don't know what to do, but this is how I am feeling on Day 2 of CH training.

20 July 2014

Lena at 12 months

- scooting around the floor on her tummy
- watermelon, cheese, feeding herself
- putting things on her head (except hats, of course)
- balls and blocks
- reorganizing her toys (seriously, she could put her toys in and out of a basket/kleenex box for 20 minutes)
- snuggling with mama
- tossing food she doesn't approve of onto the floor while maintaining eye contact
- dogs! cats! kids! anyone!

Weight: 19 lbs 7 oz
Length: 28"
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Hazel/Green-blue/Grey? They change by the hour

She is getting so wiggly and is curious about everything. She loves to crawl, though it's mostly still army crawling... one leg is just starting to get involved though! She laughs in my face when I say "No, don't touch. That's hot." when she gets too close to the (currently off) fireplace. We have a gate that will be installed before the fall, but she really should get used to not going near it. She has started to give us a smidge of attitude, demanding that we share any and all food with her. Her default sound is laughter, for which I am still so grateful, but she has a pretty impressive holler too. She will go to most people if they look friendly and have their arms out, but will also politely decline such invitations if she's not in the mood. She still loves to cuddle with me, but they are becoming shorter and shorter as life is getting too exciting to sit still. She is getting to be so much FUN, as she loves to play and chatter away and laugh. Time is seriously flying by!

It's hard to believe that she's been in our lives for an entire year now. All of the cliches are true: It's hard to imagine life without her, she is growing up so fast, and it is terrifying to love someone so deeply. 

My baby is one year old! <3 <3 <3

Lena at 5 days old, in the same shirt/dress as above :)

17 July 2014

My baby is one year

Can you believe it? My wee babe is a year old. Already! I am astonished. She is turning into a sassy toddler before my very eyes. 

We hit the beach this morning at the crack of dawn, after dropping wade off at work so I could have the car for the day. Took some sweet balloon photos, then babysat for a couple of hours, followed by shopping and ice cream with grandma. We ended the day with a picnic in the park with the Buckleys. Perfect weather. 

Yep, there were ducks. And a whole lotta geese. 

Anyways, I can't believe that my little Lena is a year old already. What a delightful little lady, what a personality! Sweet, happy, easy-going, silly sense of humour. She is so funny, and I love her so!

Happy birthday baby girl!

11 July 2014


Toys? Please. I prefer to put dirty socks on my head and giggle. 

What a girl!

04 July 2014

June health update

So, I decided to start running outside instead of just on the treadmill at the gym... since it is so nice out now in the evenings! (Most of the time.) Here are some stats in case I keep this up ;)

Run 1: June 16
3.43 km; 28:24 mins; pace 8:17 mins/km

Run 2: June 19
3.03km; 27:18 mins; pace 9:00 mins/km

Run 3: June 22
3.81 km; 30:02 mins; pace 7:54 mins/km

These include a 5 min walk each of warm up/cool down, which conveniently is approximately how long it takes to walk down to the trail. I have to say, once I got past the initial "AH I am running and panting and sweating and people can see me" it felt pretty awesome. Wade has been working a ton lately, which has made it hard to do more of these runs... but I'm hoping maybe tomorrow evening, there will be an opportunity. 

Otherwise, June was a so-so health month for me. I ate too much sugar, walked a lot, did some strength work, and have been trying to truly nourish my body. This time of year is great for fresh food, obviously, and the watermelons at the grocery store have been calling my name. I also lost 2 lbs, upping my post-preg total to 12.5 lbs. Honestly, it's been 11 months, and I can't believe that I've only lost 12.5 lbs... and still have 13 more to my pre-preg weight. It has been SO hard, which I simply wasn't expecting, since I was doing great before I got pregnant. But on the other hand, I've lost 12.5 lbs and am better off than if I hadn't! Right? 

I just want my favourite shorts to fit again before summer is over!!!

28 June 2014

Cast removal!

The spica is off! Woo hoo! Seriously!

Check out those legs! Ha! As if I'm going to cover those babies up anytime soon.

We survived! And now let's just hope that there are no more spica casts in our family's future. Because let's be honest, it's pretty annoying.

Anyways, Lena got her cast off four days ago now, on June 25th. She hated the cast saw (obviously), and was not impressed with the x-ray ladies for moving her legs around. She stunk pretty terribly, but her skin was in surprisingly good condition. Some redness/slight rawness behind the knees and hip creases, and her legs were very dry, but her back area was great! And now, four days later, there is only a slight redness behind one knee, and her legs are still a bit dry (plus it's been 30 degrees lately and our house is crazy hot so she has heat rash on them.) So hooray!  I have to admit, I was pretty close to tears when I got to hold her cast-free. Her legs are still a bit stiff, and she likes to keep them in the same position that they were in in the cast. Her core muscles are weak, so she can't sit up alone anymore. Although today she was much better at sitting, so hopefully it's not too long before I can trust her to sit up again. She also started army crawling again today, although a bit slower than in the cast. I don't think it will be very long before she's getting into everything!

She started kicking her legs almost right away, and was kicking them wildly for about an hour after we left the hospital...which is when she fell asleep on the bus ride home, haha! Obviously, she was pretty excited about getting her legs back. She also has some pretty awesome tan lines on her ankles! I always put sunscreen on her religiously, but her feet are always sticking out when we're out with the stroller. Which is usually several times a day. Oops, sorry Lena!

Treatment wise, her hips look very good. The left hip isn't quite perfect, but it is in the right position and will hopefully remain there. She was given a rhino cruiser (brace) to wear at night for the next few months, as well as whenever we feel she needs it (for comfort) during the day. So far, I've just been putting her in it for her nap (2 hrs, right in the middle of the day.) Honestly, the rhino is NOT a big deal whatsoever, since she's not wearing it during her awake time. It's made of foam and velcro, and she doesn't seem to care about it at all. Lena has been in a great mood, still her happy self, as usual. She hasn't appeared to be in much pain from the cast removal, and has actually been sleeping very well! She's even been "sleeping in", getting up at 6:25, 6:40, and one magical day, 7:00. I think it's probably because she's not waking up with a urine-soaked cast....? IDK, but I like it!

Hip dysplasia and having a baby in a spica cast is an interesting medical issue, because it messes more with your emotions than anything else. It's not a life-threatening condition, it's not permanent (usually?), and after all is said and done, the kid will grow up pretty normal. But watching (and listening!) to Lena wake up for the first time in this huge, HUGE, bulky cast was so gut-wrenching. What a terrifying moment for her! She had no clue that this was scheduled, why we let this happen to her, and that it would ever come off. She was a baby who had so recently begun to experience independence and mobility, and suddenly it was gone. She was absolutely miserable that first day. She did eventually learn to army crawl in it (for which I am still so amazed and so proud of her for), and she adjusted to life in the cast so quickly.

But then there's also the diapering factor. Diapering and trying to keep urine out of the cast (spoiler: urine will definitely get in the cast, so don't beat yourself up over it...and there will probably be some poop too) took up a lot of thought, energy, and money. We usually cloth diaper, but it just doesn't work with the spica cast. This made me SO SAD. I love my cloth diapers. Anyways, so we had to buy a ton of disposables (10 weeks worth!) and Poise/Tena pads... and I realized how much I hate using disposables. They smell terrible, they make the room smell terrible, and we doubled our garbage usage each week. Insane. Also stuffing a diaper up a cast is not as fun as it sounds. Plus, they are just not cute! I love a fluffy bum. Anyways, this is all just "annoying" stuff to add to the list... sometimes it really didn't feel like a big deal, but other times I really resented having to use the blow dryer or the cast cooler. Again, it was just annoying.

And then there was the snuggling. Physical contact, skin to skin or otherwise, is such an important thing between parents and their babes. It was definitely still possible to get those cuddles in, and we made it work... but being able to feel your sweet baby against you is so so lovely. I tickled her feet a lot when she was in the cast, and sometimes I'd reach up the diaper cutout to her belly and give her a little tickle. She laughed so hard and with such joy, as she simply wasn't expecting it. I have since given her so many raspberries on that sweet little belly and squeezed those delightfully chubby legs with great happiness. Lucky for us, it's insanely hot, so I haven't have to try and put pants or even shorts on her yet.

Anyways, I am beyond happy to be at this part of Lena's hip dysplasia journey. I know that we have been lucky with a lot of things, but it has still definitely been a challenge at times. That's easier to admit now that the cast is off. For the first seven weeks, I couldn't admit that it was hard or think about the cast coming off. But once we got that removal date, the countdown began; the night before, I was giddy with excitement! I really hope that the treatment worked, and that we will not have to deal with another spica cast. Our future babies will be screened early for hip dysplasia, and hopefully if it should happen again, we can catch it early and perhaps avoid the spica. For now, I am so happy to be in this place. Lena fits on my hip so comfortably, she is delighted to have her legs back, and I get to put adorable diapers on her bum. Hooray!